Friday, October 26, 2012

Day 26 - Don't Compare - 31 Days of Keeping Your Head Above Water

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I have a problem with comparing myself to others.  I think it is a problem that the majority of women have (and probably you men, too).  Now, I'm sure there are those of you out there that compare yourself to the women around you and come out feeling superior.  I'm not on that side of the equation.  Most of the women I talk to are not on that side of the equation.  So, I'm not going to speak to the women on that side of the equation, even though the negatives of a superiority complex are overwhelming!

For the rest of us, it seems like the women surrounding us have it all together.  They do so much more than I do.  They have successful careers.  They have perfect children.  They have perfect homes.  The list goes on and on and on.  I put enormous expectations on myself, to try to be like them.  I fail.  I think if I were just a better person, or more disciplined I could do all the things they do.  I feel like I'm drowning.

I don't think I'm alone in this cycle.  Maybe I am.  My biggest mistake is comparing myself to someone else.  I am a big believer that we are all different.  We all have different giftings and different callings in life.  We are all part of different families who have differing needs.   I can never be exactly like someone else.   Instead of trying to be someone else, I need to find out who I am and what I was created to do.  If I am fulfilling my calling, then it doesn't matter what others around me are doing.

I think we can learn from others.  The whole point of this series has been to try to help other women with the lessons I've learned.  I hope this series hasn't come across as me saying I have it all together, though.  Because I don't.  All of the tips I've written about really do help me keep my head above water.  But, I don't always follow my own advice or am in a season when I really can't do all of those things.  My house is often still messy!  My kids get behind in their schoolwork!  I still feel like I'm drowning.

I think even though there does seem to be a few super women out there, most of us have areas that we struggle in.  We more than likely keep those struggle areas secret from those around us.  Why??  We as women need to stop the 'Mommy Wars'.  Just because your house is clean and mine isn't doesn't make you a better person.  Just because you cook all organic, homemade meals while we sometimes eat processed food doesn't make you a better person.  Just because I homeschool my kids, while you send yours to public school does NOT make me a better person.  Just because I nursed my six kids while you bottle fed, does not make me a better person.

We need to learn to embrace the differences in each other.  We need to stop looking at other people's choices as an indictment on our own.  Just because I choose to do something differently, does not mean that your way is wrong ... and vice versa.   We're just different.

Stop comparing yourself to others.  Be the best YOU you can be.  This will help you keep your head above water. 

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